absolute power is such a convenient thing to have. after so many years of having been the target of the lynch mob, having been conditioned, tortured, outcasted, rejected by everyone over and over again, and policed by everyone, while having every bit of it denied, and having been quiet about it, I could no longer be quiet about it. now, whenever anything goes wrong, all eyes will of course turn on me, because I am the obvious target of everything. no one has to account for anything, and they can use any context against you and any 'facts' against you, because they can just make anything up and corroborate each other. whatever situation they put you in, you will find they will always have the ideology on their side, will always have each other taking the side of each other against you, and will always single you out as being to blame for everything. they will coerce you into a way of life, will give you no choice on the matter, and will then constantly use this against you.
within the context of the ideology, there is no difference between something true and something false, or rather the truth is constantly reversed, and the best that I can hope for is a context where the truth of which I speak can at least have rights as a subjective truth. there is no getting beyond philosophy 101 as long as no one accounts for anything. I blame them where they are to blame, and this is moreover necessary when living in a warzone. they blame me for everything because that is the way in which they are oriented. anything I say will sound out of context, when it's their context that is out of context, and they enforce their context with much fanaticism, and don't even seem to be aware of the destruction they are causing. everywhere I go, there they are - not random people minding their own business, but agents policing my every move and every thought. I try to get away from them, and I find them in my house, when I had 'friends', they acted like agents too, and when I talk to relatives, I find enemies in them as well. their entire system is arranged against me, but then can call itself a democracy, and tell me that my voice doesn't count because I am the only one that says these things are happening. absolute power: they can replicate an army of identical people, each of them will be a mini-rape-machine targeting you, each will call itself a person, each will corroborate every other, each will single you out as insane, each will tell you that the voice of the majority is what counts within a democracy constituted of individuals, while they are not individuals, this is not a democracy, and the last thing they have is integrity, but they are too insane to even know it, and will constantly coerce the ideology on you, and use every bit of their 'humanity', 'frailty', 'authority', force, 'relation', 'humaneness', 'sensitivity', and 'integrity' for this purpose. they will police the most petty details of my life, and will do this in the names of things so serious that if I question these I will be giving them more opportunity to use ridicule and humiliation against me.
I will acknowledge: they will often tell the truth in their own way, but this way of theirs prohibits me from being able to trust them enough to even pay attention to them.