the nazi rapists have been spying on my life and my thoughts, have been singling me out and have been assholes to me, for many years. writing about it only came at the very end of a very long chain of suffering and oppression that would not stop. now, of course, the nazi rapists will use my writings against me also, as if 'this is how they've come about' certain information about my life which they can use against me and as an excuse to continue the same violations. while subjecting me to bullshit social and moral standards and standards of propriety, they have always been in the habit of using against me in very oppressive ways all kinds of information about my life and my thoughts which they would have absolutely no way of having according to their own context, but if I write about much of what happens in my life and my thoughts, they can continue doing the same and also make me think that I deserve it or that they are taking revenge on me for something. they never specify where they got the information, and much of it cannot be found in or deduced from any of my writings, but they speak very confidently about very intimate details of my private life and private thoughts, and then use this knowledge coercively against me, and use it as an excuse to exploit their positions of power, authority, and monopoly over me.